Fifteen Months of Pain (In Words)

I was destroyed by a break-up that I shouldn't have been so destroyed by.  On the fifteen-month anniversary of that day, this poem was created.


I found out today that my world has collapsed, ceased to exist.

My world died when you left,
And I have yet to re-discover it,
The life I once knew.

Before there was you.

In this former life,
I would smile,
And pretend as though nothing mattered.
In this time,
I could write until my heart ached,
And the words would flow perfectly.

And then there was you.

In this new existence,
My every thought was on you.
Your eyes haunted my dreams,
Guided my nightmares.
I had new material,
And yet nothing to compose.

I had kisses,
Embraces, and delicate notes in night skies.
Yet nothing would flow.

And then you were gone.

My heart was broken,
And I became a shell.
Empty, weightless, and devoid of air.
I wrote only of my loss,
And the deep hope that you'd return.

You're not here now.

It has been over one year,
And I still haven't written.

Oh, but I have.

Poetry.

Poetry is not how I want to express this.
I want words,
Thousands of them.
I want to write until I can no longer.
I want to remember what pain feels like.
While you were my treasure,
The link to the unknown,
You have stolen my spirit,
And my life.

Give me back my art.
For I shall not hear of your creativity,
While mourning for my own.
I do not curse you,
Although I should.

Just give me back my soul.
And I can return your soul back to you.

I wrote this back in April of 2007. It was written about a boy, who broke my heart. I have since healed.