First Five Pages of My Jackson Follow-Up

Okay, this is like a big deal for me.  I am posting the first five pages of the follow-up story to Last Words for you lucky readers/people who read this blog.  I may end up removing Last Words from Amazon, and posting it to some site, where you can read it in its entirety, since it's 20 pages long.


The thing to know about this story, aptly named  Moving On, is that it has chapters (believe me, I spent six hours revising and adding chapters where I felt appropriate last night), but they might not be more than five or six pages apiece.  The story after I revised it last night, equals out to 94 pages altogether.  It's the longest thing I have ever written, and it's also the second or third thing I have written entirely on the computer.  


The guy I went out with a couple of times, who had the luck of being the first person to read the first story read something I wrote many moons ago (and have subsequently lost), which he remarked was a lot like a movie.  And I guess that's kind of my writing style.  It's more visually like a film, just without actors.  


As usual, I accept comments.  I want feedback on it.  If it's widely well-received, I might just put it up on some site and allow people to read it all the way through.


Check it out after the cut.

Chapter 1

In the year since Jackson died, life has painfully gone on.  Madelyn and Kellan decided that I needed to get back out on the market and date again.  I protested quite heavily, but I was vetoed by my friends.  They assured me that the men they chose would be great for me, and I hoped they were right.

Most of the guys were duds.  Once I explained to them that I was still in mourning over my ex-boyfriend and I would not be having sex with them, they ditched me.  I wasn’t defeated by this.  In fact I felt vindicated, hoping this would prove to Kellan and Madelyn that I wasn’t ready to get back on the dating scene.

No such luck.

Madelyn decided to set me up with one more guy, after which she promised she wouldn’t try for another few months. 

“Jared is an awesome guy, Kiley.  He’s good with children, loves the same music as you, and he is handsome.”  I glanced over at Madelyn, a questioning look drawn across my face.

“Can you get away with saying that when you’re married to Kellan?”

“Of course,” she smiled.

“All right, I’ll go out with him.  But, if this doesn’t work out, you have to leave me alone until after 2010.”

“Deal.  I think this one’s going to work, Kiley.” 

She walked over to a photo of Jackson. 

“How are you doing anyway?  It’s been awhile since I asked last.”

“I am doing okay.  It was a slow start, beginning life without him, as you’re well aware.  But, I am doing great now.  There are still some mornings when I get up, and wonder where he’s gone, and realize he’s been dead for a year.”

“A year.  Sometimes, it feels like only yesterday.  Kellan’s had moments where he wants to call him, going as far as to dial his number, and just before he hits ‘SEND’ it hits him that Jack is gone.”  She touches his photo, and sighs.  “All right, I am heading home.  Do you need anything?  We should go shopping tomorrow, okay?  I will have Jared call you.”

“Sounds awesome, Mad.  Call me later when you decide what time we should shop, or if you can no longer keep your promise.” 

Jared did call me later that day.  He sounded nice over the phone, but the real test was meeting him in person.  I had recently discovered that some men in New Hampshire were selfish bastards.  They believed that a little sex would help me out of my funk, and when I said otherwise, they jumped ship.  And even though Jared sounded cool on the phone, there was a chance he was exactly the same.

A couple of days later, I was getting ready for my date with Jared.  Kellan and Madelyn decided to stop by, and see how it was going.  When I modeled my outfit, a grey cowl neck sweater and jeans, I got mixed reviews.

“You look kind of drab, Kiley.”  I looked at myself in the wall mirror that Jackson installed so I would stop going back and forth to the bathroom to check out my hair and makeup, and I frowned.

“What’s wrong with it, Madelyn?  I think I look great.”

“You look hot, Kiley.”  Madelyn and I both turned to look at Kellan.  “What?  She does.  Don’t listen to Madelyn, she doesn’t know what she’s talking about.  For our first date, she wore grey, and now we’re married.”  I looked at Kellan, and smiled.  Kellan was Jackson’s best friend, and his death was just as heavily felt by him as it had been for me. 

“Well then, it’s settled.  I wear the sweater, and to hell with Madelyn,” I laughed.  Madelyn socked me in the arm, and Kellan laughed heartily.  “Now, I just have to go find shoes.”

“Leave me out of the shoe discussion,” Kellan groaned, throwing his hands up in the air, walking to the kitchen.  Madelyn and I laughed, and walked down the hall.

“How are you doing?  Nervous?”  I shook my head ‘no’.  “Excited?  C’mon Kiley, let me inside your head,” she squealed.

“I am just here, Mad.  I have no expectations, no nothing.  I am going out with a guy tonight, just like I have for the past month.  I haven’t been nervous since I went out with that Will guy.”

“Well, let me reiterate that I believe you and Jared will get along famously.  He’s really awesome, Kiley.”  I shoved my foot into my other boot, and zipped it up.  I shook my head to acknowledge Madelyn’s statement, before walking to the dresser mirror and fixing my hair one last time before the doorbell rang.  We heard Kellan walk/run to the door, and greet Jared with his usual exuberance.  Kellan rapped on the door, and I threw it open, smiling quaintly.

“Your guest of honor has arrived, milady.”  He brought up his hand, which I took jokingly, and he escorted me to the living room.  “Monsieur Compton?  May I present the always lovely Autumn Vaughan?”

The first thing I saw was the back of his head.  He had incredibly dark brown hair, which looked like he’d just woken up and slightly fixed it.  He wore dark blue jeans and a black leather jacket, which I thought was pretty bad-ass, considering it was late autumn in northern New Hampshire.  He spun around when Kellan announced me, and I was awestruck.  He had piercing blue eyes, and his dark hair fell into his eyes like Jackson’s had.  And he was handsome, just like Madelyn had said.  When he smiled, I smiled in response, since his smile was so inviting.

“Hi Autumn, I’m Jared.”  Jared thrust his hand out at me.  “It’s nice to meet you, at last.  Madelyn has spoken of you so much, it’s like I know you.”  I shook his outstretched hand, and looked over at Madelyn.

“Oh I hope it hasn’t been too much,” I smiled vaguely, talking between my teeth, shooting daggers with my eyes.

“Shouldn’t you two be going?”  Madelyn asked, quickly averting her eyes from my death stare.

“Oh yeah.  We have reservations at the Homestead Restaurant.  Are you ready, Autumn?”

“Absolutely.  Don’t wait up, mom and dad,” I smiled.

“You two kids have a great time,” Kellan smiled, waving us away.

It was a quiet drive to the restaurant from my house.  Jared kept his eyes on the road, which was great, since the others were intent on looking at me while they drove.  At the restaurant, Jared ran around the car to open the door for me.

“Thank you,” I smiled.  “It’s been a long time since I have had a man open the door for me.”

Once inside and safely seated at our table, the “interview” began.

“I want to thank you for coming out on this date with me,” Jared began.  “I just want to get this out of the way and say, you look very nice this evening,” he smiled.

“Thank you, Jared.  And I just want to say that you look very handsome this evening.”

Dinner went spectacularly, which surprised me.  I had a pasta dish and Jared ate chicken or something, I don’t remember.  The conversation flowed nicely, and Jared wasn’t preoccupied with my boobs like those before him.  After dinner, Jared suggested we take a walk around the park, which I was game for. 

Things happened those first two minutes at the park.  I realized I laughed at another person besides my friends when Jared tripped over the wooden divider at the park walking to the swing set.  Also when we sat on the swings and he held my hand briefly.  My hand erupted in sparks, and I freaked out.  Jared took notice of my quick removal of his hand, and stopped his swinging.

“I know about Jackson,” he softly spoke, kicking the woodchips around with his shoe.  I looked over at him.  “Madelyn told me.  She said you are utterly devastated by your old boyfriend’s death.  And I can understand that.  I have had someone important to me die, and I know the feeling of utter desolation that it leaves on you.”

“Who did you lose?  A mother?  Friend?  Grandparent?  I lost my boyfriend the day after we broke up.  I am not saying that those other deaths aren’t important.  I am just wondering how anyone can compare it to losing their lover.”

Jared looked at me a moment, his blue eyes slightly wet.  He shoved backwards, and began swinging.

“I lost my girlfriend.  And what makes her death so ridiculously painful is that we’d had a baby three months earlier.  So, I am taking care of our son alone.  So, believe me I know what you feel.”

“Jesus,” I mumbled. 

Way to open your mouth, Vaughan.

I stopped mid-swing, and jumped off.  I walked to a bench, and sat down.  Jared soon followed, and sat beside me.

“How old is your son?”

“He’s five months.”  He whipped out his wallet, and flipped to it open to a photo.  “That’s Jack,” he smiled.  His son was adorable, with a head full of jet black hair, and shocking blue eyes on his smiling face.

“You’re actually the second date I’ve had since she died.” 

I looked up at him. 

“I know what you’re thinking: why two months after she died?  I want to fill this void that is eating away at me.  Jack deserves a happy parent, not one trapped inside a vortex of pain.  I am not unhappy with Jack around, but I want someone around for those awesome nights when Jack is in bed early, and I want to talk with someone or have a glass of wine.”

“Essentially, you want some adult company,” I laughed.

“Yeah, I guess so,” he smiled.

“Maddie never mentioned you had a kid.  I wonder why she left that out.”

“That is a good question, since she asks about him all the time.  How long has Jackson been gone?”

“It’s been thirteen months.  Jackson was this strong presence in my life.  I never thought I would smile again after he died, let alone date again.  I went out on mindless dates around Valentine’s, but those ended up being sexual escapades, and I almost always cried afterwards.  Maddie and Kellan both have spent the past month setting me up on dates with losers who don’t give a shit about Jackson’s death, and just want to have sex with me.  So, when I tell them that isn’t happening, they run away.  By the way, we’re not having sex,” I spoke matter-of-factly.

“That’s fine.  I wouldn’t have sex with you anyway.  I just met you.  Besides, I left Jack with a friend for a few hours, so I have to go soon anyway.  Do you want to grab some ice cream before we part ways for the evening?”

“No, I am fine.  You can go ahead though.  I know that five month olds love some ice cream, but thank you anyway.”

“Jack’s not getting ice cream.  I’ll go to Dunkin Donuts, and get a coffee.”

***********

Jared pulled into my driveway, and I was relieved to see Kellan’s car missing.  Jared pulled open my door, and walked me to the doorstep.

“Thank you for a wonderful evening, Jared.  It’s been a long time since I have smiled like this.  And I apologize for being such a bitch at the park.  I didn’t mean to belittle the loss of your girlfriend.  I also want to apologize for over-sharing about my life in February.”
“It’s my pleasure, Autumn, and don’t worry about the park and over-sharing thing.  If it’s not too much to ask, can I see you again?”

“You’ve got my number,” I smiled.  “I would love to go out with you again.”

Jared lingered in front of me, the air suddenly thick with the electricity of not wanting this evening to end right then.  And he leaned in towards me, and our lips met.  Jared pulled back, and my eyes flickered open.  I looked at Jared for a split second, and smiled sheepishly.

“Can you do that again?  I am unsure about something.” 

Jared kind of nodded, and kissed me again.  And it happened: the air grew thick with the perfume of pine trees and my mouth was alight for the first time in over a year.  I quickly ran my hand through Jared’s hair, and my brain squealed with delight.

“Did you get your theory sorted out?”

“What?  Oh, right.  Yes, I did.”

“And..?”

“I might have felt something,” I smiled.  Jared smiled in response, and scratched his head.

“Me too,” he laughed.  “Goodnight Autumn.”

“Night, Jared.  Say hello to baby Jack for me.”