Fade to Black

It looms around me, the darkness.

It may be light outside,

But it’s bleak and lifeless within these four walls.

I feel claustrophobic,

The air quickly leaving my lungs.

My heart bursting to pieces about me.

He says he needs space,

That the timing wasn’t right for us.

I looked up at him,

My eyes brimming with hot salty tears,

And I just nodded.

I should have called him a fucking asshole.

I should have said more than just “okay.”

What the hell is wrong with me?

I got up from the table,

Took my things,

And walked out the door.

And here I sit in my house,

Staring blankly at the walls,

Listening to sad music.

I cry at the drop of a hat,

And anything gets me started.

I’m in a fog,

Numb to the outside world.

I’ve cut off all contact from friends and family.

Their words do not soothe me,

Nor will they make me feel better.

I feel as if all is lost.

Lost in some dark forest in a mythical land.

The fog closes in,

And the world fades to black.

My History With Depression

Inspired by a post by my favorite female blogger Joanna Goddard, I want to open up about this experience.


People might view me now as this bookish person, who usually has a sunny disposition, and mostly likely was a straight "A" or "B" student all through school.

That's where people would be very wrong.

Something I Wrote For My Sister's Homework

Like in the title, I originally wrote this for my sister's English class two years ago (and I realize I was not helping her learn by doing this for her). Since I am the Shakespeare freak (as my mom refers to me), I was the one my sister begged to have write this paper.  I am happy to say, this paper got an awesome grade, which makes me wonder why I couldn't write papers like this one when I was in high school.  I was a slacker in school, but I loved Shakespeare.


Basically, the point of this assignment was to take a quote from the play, and then explain what the character is feeling or thinking, and why it resonates with you.  Basically, pick a quote and explain why it means so much to you.

I decided to pull this essay off one of my three thumb drives and let you read it.  I appreciate all comments anyone leaves.  

Enjoy!

Originally Titled Oregon Is For Losers

I hated Oregon.  For reasons that I alone know, I just didn't enjoy my time there.


Stuck in a bottomless pit,

And it just won't quit.
Pressing and deepening
Me into full-on shit.

Love is void.
Love is nonexistent.

I feel myself changing,
Reverting to my old nonsense.
I don't like who I'm becoming,
Yet there is no fix.

I am wasting away
I feel it each and every day.

If I don't get out quick,
I just might end up sick.

Oregon is a veritable armpit
Like a tick that won't quit.
Biting and sucking;
Until it has sucked you dry
Of your human emotions
And compassion.

Let this be a warning:
Run away,
For Oregon is not safe to stay.